1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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