I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
