well you can't waste a boner
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
