i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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