if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
