Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
