I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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