I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
