when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
