pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
