But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
