I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
