whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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