Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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