Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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