suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
