You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
