Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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