Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
