he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i think i just lost a toe
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
