You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
