Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
