I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize