y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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