i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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