That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
