UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Randomize
