all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize