All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
