No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
