I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wear drunk well.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
