do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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