and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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