She went from zero to smokin in five shots
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize