just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
