I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
