But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
