u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize