I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
