I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
