I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
