Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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