Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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