Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I am one with the molecules
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
