Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
