he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
