yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This is classic penis vs brain.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
