Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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