STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
