I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
