So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Did I show you my penis last night?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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