4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I skipped work to stalk him.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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