He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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