I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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