So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
