so explain again why im purple
no
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
