At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
