i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
