Sry I called you an 8
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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