I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
