Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
