i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
