He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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