Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
