Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
