honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
