maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
