went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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