I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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