I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
