So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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