dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
