As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We had sex on a dog bed..
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
