Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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