I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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