whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
