Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize