the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My bed smells like the plague
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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