And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
